Londinium

The thing about Kingston Hill is that its in the middle of no-where... According to the now ex-Mr. Fezio, there are only two ways about it. There is uphill... and there is down-hill. Now both can either aid or delay your journey from either the town center or the nearest Wall-Mart monster nearby called ASDA. The thing about walking downhill one side is that it takes you to the Kingston town center where await all the wonders of the capitalist world in the storm of recession. Now the thing about Kingston town center is that it happens to be in Kingston. That wouldn't have been a bad thing except for the fact that even though Kingston is in what they call 'Zone 6', it is still more expensive than the Queen's crown jewels locked up under guard in the Tower of London. Now the thing about being in 'zones' is that there happens to be a progression of them from 1 to 6.

Zone 1, they say, is most of central London. Now the thing about London is that as you move from center to edge, the zones move from 1 to 6 and so the number of £s you spend just living your life decrease exponentially. Not surprisingly, the Royal borough is immune to this most bizarre rational. So if you happen to find your self in Kingston you'll probably take the down hill the other side and end up at what is called as 'The Great ASDA'. You would've liked it better of course if you hadn't known that its rebadged Wall-Mart but so is life and as you trudge along the 1 and 3/4 million aisles, you'll realize that everything that is anything is also ASDA. 

Now the thing about ASDA is that whatever is ASDA is also cheaper than whatever is anything else. Now mostly thats a good thing but there are times when you pick out that pizza from the freezer and realize that there isn't any cheese on it and then it hits you that the pence' you saved on the brand of the monster may have not really saved you anything at all. Normally that would've been enough to head off back to the store and demand a refund or least a replacement but the thing about going back is the downhill.

The thing about downhill is that from the other side it becomes uphill and that doesn't always agree with your body. Your body agrees more with the bus that runs every 10 minutes all day and all night but the thing with the bus is that is not cheap. The oyster that facilitates your transition from the walk to the ride comes with a charge of its own. It cannot be topped up on the downhill towards the shopping wonder but rather downhill towards the expensive heart of the borough. That wouldn't be a problem on most occasions except for the fact that to charge for a £ you'll have to spend a £.

Now this being England and all, it comes to mind what the f*** am I doing here?!?! Well the thing about being in London is that it takes a flight, shit loads of ££££s and months of preparations to enroll yourself in September. Normally September would be warm but once you land, it being England and all, you realize that its not all that warm and you are going to freeze to death if you don't wear a coat. Generally wearing a coat would seem like a nice idea but the thing about coats in London is that every one is wearing one. Its either black or grey and that doesn't help the mood much.

If you mind the gap sufficiently enough on the tube then you'll realize that everyone is either reading a paper or listening to their iPods. If on the other hand you don't and do get up, close and personal with the tracks, you will realize that they are too clean for comfort. Normally that would be a good thing, but then you realize something else that makes you draw comparisons with what you left behind and that is exactly the moment when the spot light goes from the conscious to the sub-conscious and the realization dawns on you, as this time you do mind the gap getting into the tube from Victoria to Putney, that...

"DMRC does it better!"

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